There were three months of my life that wrecked me completely. Ones that wrecked me so I could barely speak of it
for months afterward. I just had to sit in it and let the hope rise up, and it did; mighty warrior hope rose up.

An Awakening

Being around the world opens up new veins. I haven't been to 11 countries, but maybe 5 or 6 over the years. While I have never been on World Race and while I love the program and the people, God is writing a different story in my life. An integral part of that started back in 2007 when I went on a Passport trip (then called Real Life)
to Swaziland, Africa. I was the oldest on my team by far; I turned 23 on the field. The
experience there changed me, and so even when I came "home" everything was all wrecked
and ruined, but in one of the best ways possible.

Looking back to before we left, I was so broken when I arrived at training camp in
September 2007. I didn't realize it at the time but training camp was filled with so
much brand new life-giving information about my identity and who God is that I
couldn't take it all in! I sometimes didn't even know what to journal.

 (Above: Training Camp, Sept 2007)

God is Good?

Taking a step further back, it had only been a few years
since hearing about God's grace. I grew up in church but didn't know who God
was really. Or I did, but I didn't hear it preached and lived relatively confused for awhile. I lived under laws and
oppression. It was through working at summer camp during college that I began to see God
differently.

Fast-forward 5 years to Swaziland, mind being blown as I sat
in an unfinished room hearing teachings. "God is really THAT good? I don't
know, I just don't know," I would think and then I'd ponder for what seemed
like hours.

(Above: At the corner store)

Writing on Walls of Houses

Once we arrived in Swaziland we began our three months with
ministry and team time every day. We started in a rural area and through a
series of events ended up moving into a team house in town. Sitting on that
porch sipping tea, we would all talk about God's story in our lives. What we
saw happening, what had already occurred and what it meant. We didn't really
know, we were just dreaming, chasing goats, monkeys, and wild zebras.

One night some long-term missionaries came by and led a
night of singing and worship. I spent hours writing out my prayers to God on
the side of the house. I used my finger and drew and drew and drew. God kept
talking to me. He wouldn't stop pouring out love over me. Other nights after
that night I would go out into the yard with my teammate Mary and we'd put our
music on and dance and dance so thankful.

 (Above: With the kids in the community. That's Toobah in the cat costume! Yea!)

Dare We Hope?

I saw the people in the community ravaged and without hope
in the hospital beds. God gave me visions of hope for them. Women who never
knew what it was to be genuinely cared for we befriended. Kids who didn't have
parents held onto us for the dearest life. We would go to the corner and buy a
soda for 4 Rand and sit and talk with our neighbors and taught our Swazi friend how to crochet.

We prayed for young girls in the squatter camp to stop
prostituting themselves and God answered that, and they did stop! We spoke life
over them and they knew their worth.

Even so, I was left asking God, "Is there ANY hope for
Swaziland?" Logic told me no, as was evident being the most AIDs ravaged country in the world,
but God told me yes so I believed it. Miracles happened and life and freedom
came down during those months, and at least some of the hope that was lost for
so long was restored there.

God Stripped

When I returned to the states, called to work with youth, I
was wrecked. My world was ruined. It was the best kind of torture. All of a
sudden, I saw the brokenness in my own former world as well. I worked in inner
city schools and tried to love those kids well. I began learning about sex
trafficking and going into clubs, bars, and brothels to restore hope there. It
was the sweetest wrecking season, but it was one of the most painful.

There is so much to be said for seeing the world and
experiencing cultures outside your own. It brings a perspective of what we do
have, but mostly it brings a perspective of what is also broken in different
ways here. So, when we return we have new eyes, and are seeing more with the
eyes of God than ever. We go despite the pain because it's only in that deep
brokenness that we can truly heal. In ours and in experiencing others'.

 (Above: Most of our team :))

A Hope and a Future

I plan to go to Cambodia in the Fall to visit girls who are
teaching art therapy to rescued women. I hope to go around the US as well. I
want to connect anti-trafficking ministries here to those who want to fight for
hope and freedom. I still go into strip bars and clubs and hope and pray for freedom through our friendships with the girls. It's honestly one of the most beautiful places to experience God (if you are called to it) because you see He's there just the same and pursuing our hearts equally. 

To Think Though...

It was a Passport trip where God met me, still a kid not knowing
where my life was headed. It was three months that wrecked my life for good. I
would never trade it for any price. My teammates and I still chat and dream together and
I truly believe we have and will continue to change the world with our hope and
love.

Thanks for reading! If you'd like to support my current or
future endeavors with Adventures click "SUPPORT ME!" on the top left! Be
blessed!